May 1,000 curses rain down on those misbegotten knaves at Think Geek, because they just sent me their latest newsletter and – as usual – it's jam-packed with all sorts of cool things I don’t need, that I never knew existed, and that I now desperately desire.

First of all we have a USB Pet Rock. Younger folks may not be aware of this, but there was a "Pet Rock" craze back in the 1970s. Some clever so-and-so came up with the idea of selling rocks to whoever was gullible enough to be enticed by one – really – they were called "Pet Rocks" and people were in a frenzy to buy them...

Of course the things did absolutely nothing (remember, they are rocks). They just sat on your desk or in their cage (yes, some folks bought cages for them). On the bright side you didn’t have to feed them, or take them for walks, or clean up any unfortunate messes.

I understand that the person who came up with this idea became a millionaire, and all credit to them. "A fool and his money are soon parted," as the old saying goes. At least I'm not that stupid... or that's what I would have said until a few moments ago when I was presented with the 21^st Century equivalent – a USB Pet Rock!

This is great. It's a real rock with a cable and a USB connector that plugs into your PC. As they say on the Think Geek website:

"Simply plug the USB cable into a free port and let the fun begin. The USB Pet Rock will instantly begin to work its magic. People will stop by and ask you what your USB Pet Rock does. Each time, you can make up a new story; for no matter what you say, it will be greater than the truth - because these USB Pet Rocks don't do a dang thing. Except make you smile. And confuse your friends and coworkers, which will make you smile even more. So, get your USB Pet Rock today, and help make us rich tomorrow."

In these ecologically uncertain times, it's nice to know that these little scamps are the greenest USB products ever created because they consume absolutely no electricity. Even better, they are compatible with every operating system known to man, including Windows (7 and lower); Mac (all OS's); Linux; and all other past, present, and future operating systems – no drivers needed!

But wait, there's more... have you seen the Bliptronic 5000 LED Synthesizer? This is another thing that is the perfect mix of being extremely simple and extremely clever and extremely desirable all at the same time. It's hard to describe. You have an 8 x 8 array of buttons with LEDs in them. Each button corresponds to a note – all the notes you've selected in the first column sound, then the notes in the second, then the third ... and so forth ... then it wraps around to the beginning. It's difficult to explain, but the following YouTube video will make it all clear.

This is clever in its own right, but a nice additional feature is that you can string multiple units together to form a chain. I think if you had a group of kids each with their own Bliptronic 5000 all connected together jointly forming tunes, you could keep them occupied for hours.

For myself ... I'm ashamed to say that I couldn’t resist either of these little beauties ... I just placed an order on the web ... I consider it to be an early Christmas present to myself (after all, who deserves it more than me?). The great thing is that I can have a good time sitting here in my office with the Bliptronic 5000 playing quietly to itself in the background – occasionally tweaking a note here and there to keep myself amused – and my USB pet rock will form an appreciative audience who will never complain and will hang onto my every word (and note).